The 4-Hour Workweek - Chapter 5 Comfort Challenge: Learn to Propose

The challenge for the last two days has been to learn to propose.  The goal of this challenge was to stop asking for the opinions of others and propose solutions.  When I read this challenge I knew it would be difficult for me.  I'm a very go with the flow person so my automatic response to "What do you want to do later" is "I dunno, what to do you want to do."

This challenge was harder to practice than learning to eye gaze because there are less opportunities.  Obviously, you make eye contact with people as long as people are around.  Proposing solutions doesn't come up in every conversation you have.

I caught myself in this situation a few times are tried to propose solutions.  Usually they were good, but at worst they started a discussion that at least made progress to a solution.  The only time I failed was suggesting having lunch outside and then getting stuck in the rain.  I wouldn't consider that a terrible failure though.

In one conversation I fell back into old habit when having a conversation with co-workers about what time we should start working on our off day.  My response was "whenever is good with you guys," which turned into everyone passing the torch and blankly staring at each other.  Proposing a solution would have made this conversation shorter, more decisive, and less awkward.

I'd like to make this a practice in my daily life.  I saw a lot of benefit to be part of the solution rather than a bump on a log.

The 4-Hour Workweek - Chapter 4 Comfort Challenge: Learn to Eye Gaze

I'm currently in the middle of reading The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss.  So far it's good, but mostly just mental preparation and not much useful skills yet.  I'm trying to do each of the recommended activities so I can get the most out of the book.

Chapter 4's comfort challenge is to learn to eye gaze.  Basically I had to "practice gazing into the eyes of others."  This is the end of the second day of this challenge and I learned more than I expected I would.

Lessons Learned

• A lot of people don't make eye contact.  Most service people such as your grocery cashier don't make eye contact.  I tried to catch the gaze of one cashier and I couldn't grab it until she handed me the receipt.
• I don't do well at eye contact.  I tend to stare off at nothing.
• One of two things is true.  1) People are nicer to you when you make eye contact.  Or 2) you are nicer to people when you make eye contact.  I found that strangers and coworkers were more friendly when I made eye contact.  It might be because I act nicer when I'm looking directly at someone so they are nicer back.  I'm not sure where the friendliness originates, but it's definitely there.

Based on this quick experiment, I'd like to continue working on my eye contact.  I think it will help me build stronger relationships more quickly.